Read their limerence stories below:
I feel like I'm losing my mind... I cry all the time
Male aged 36 USA
"I feel like I'm losing my mind.. my LO ""broke up"" with me about 3 months ago. We had an intense physical and emotional affair. We are both married with children and used to work together and no longer do. I moved on to another job. I was semi-happy when she dumped me because the double life was hard, lots of sneaking around but I would have left my family for her is she asked for it. We talked many times about being together but came to realize it was impossible.
I need this feeling to end. I am a mess, I cry all the time.. I want to be over her so bad but can't. i feel like I broke myself and now don't know how to fix me. I think about her every minutes of the day.. I feel bad for my wife and kids. Why can't I just move on.. I have fleeting moments where I feel better and hops its the start of recovering and then 10 minutes later I'm crying because I miss her so much. I read this can last 3 years on average.. I can't bear another day of this. I am in hell.
I want to forget he ever existed, really I do.
Female - aged 25 - 36 England
Well I'm still very much in limerence :( I am using anger at the moment to help me. I have just looked at his FB page and looked through some old msgs he sent to his wife.....he actually calls me some of the same nicknames!! It's laughable!
I feel totally and utterly stupid, used, ashamed and embarrassed that I have allowed myself to be sucked in by him. He told me he loved me when we hadn't even admitted we had feelings for one another and them boom he loves me. This obviously made me feel high that he felt the same way.
Roll on a few months of emails, phonecalls, Skype, pictures, videos (I know it's bad) and we met in secret (we're both married) and shared our first kiss. Since that kiss, a week of contract every single day (totally bliss for us both) and now two weeks of very sparse contact (from his side).
This is driving me insane. I'm very stubborn though and won't be contacting him until he contacts me first despite the fact that I compile several emails a day ready to send and then hit cancel. I know for me that no contract helps. I've been in limerence before and the no contact is hard but it works but I've tried to end it with this one but when I did he asked if we could remain friends as some contact is better than none at all in his mind.
This obviously annoyed me because then I began questioning why he would want to be friends if he had the same feelings as me? I certainly couldn't forget these feelings to just revert to being friends-I'd rather have nothing at all. I am literally going through a breakup in my head and heart right now only for me to wibble again and return to floating on air as soon as he decides to make contact.
I feel that I'm only around to massage his ego when things aren't going well with his wife. When she's paying him attention, I'm discarded. See, I know exactly what's going on and that I'm a fool but I'll still crumble when he contacts me again and forget about how rubbish he's made me feel these past two weeks and forgive him.
NOTHING else mattered.
Male - aged 36 America
In some ways that longing feeling was never fulfilled.Female - aged 33 years from England
I can't get him out of my head for a minute.
Female - aged 47 years from Australia
I didn't feel anything until he took an interest in me
Female - aged 55 years
Male 33 years from Russia
"The feelings of longing became so intense, that I just thought about her all the time. These were not just ordinary thoughts, like thinking about my friends. These were "super-charged" thoughts, loaded with intense feelings which were so strong my whole body felt possessed. There was a sense of heart-ache as my body longed to satisfy the intensity of the love-feeling I was experiencing.
The obsessive thoughts were based on the heightened awareness I was experiencing throughout my body.It felt like my whole body was thinking about her. Not just my mind but every nerve cell in my body.
I was totally saturated and overwhelmed by her. I lived in a state of total distraction from which there was no escape, except into her arms."
I can't go two minutes without thinking about him
Female 38 years from America
I've been very limerent about a co-worker for nearly two years now. I've evaluated it for a long time and we would be completely incompatible and he would probably make a lousy boyfriend/husband because he's not very communicative.
It started one day in his office. I've seen him around for several years but because he's not the communicative type I never bothered to talk to him - I have a feeling if I did then he probably would have just grunted or something or stared at me and walked away. I guess he's somewhat the strong silent type - but he's small in stature.
We were forced to work together and he was in charge, we spent a little time getting to know each other and suddenly I realized his eyes were an intense sky blue and I was determined to not look away when speaking with him - we locked eyes and that's when things cut loose. The full effects of limerance started, the room seemed to get brighter, I felt a floaty type of feeling, it was extremely intense.
If I had known then what I know now I would have gotten up and walked away. How could I know that that instant something had started that would torture me for so long. I can't go two minutes without thinking about him.
I've never been this way about anybody. I don't want to be this way about him. I become furious with myself because I can't make it stop - I have no control over it. I know I don't want to have anything to do with that man but I can't stop my thoughts about him. Since that eyes locked moment two years ago - we've interacted and I tried hard to keep my feet on the ground. He has made comments and his actions suggested that the feelings were reciprocal (I know I didn't imagine this). I actually wish he didn't - because then I could continue thinking that it was all only in my head.
This has been torture, because I'm already married to the perfect husband to whom I've never really had limerent feelings for.
What could be bad about a thing like that?
Female from Canada
My life has been massively improved by my being in the state of limerence. It is, in my case, quite mutual and quite intense on both sides. It has improved my mood and my ability to deal with the sometimes difficult ups and downs of life much better.
I do feel like I'm walking on air much of the time and I, most often, have a big smile on my face. I also feel immensely rejuvenated and there is a spring in my step.
What could be bad about a thing like that?
I madly fell "in love" with a married women
Male 45 years from America
I madly fell "in love" with a married women who I had known for sometime, but had not been attracted to her for years. It all happened so suddenly, unexpectedly, obsessively and totally beyond my ability to control the feelings and infatuations that developed. "Divine madness" is the only way this experience could be described.
I was a very committed married man at the time, who had never been involved at any 'attraction' level with any women. In fact, even though there were many women around me professionally, I never fantasized about any of them nor had any desire to be involved with them at any personal or sexual level.
I think the "barriers" I put up were not so much ethical or moral, but, as I now realise, were general insecurities about my own attractiveness and my belief that no woman would be interested in me. Also I had come from a deeply religious family, where 'affairs' were what other people did, and were not part of my family's tradition. Boy did I change that!
The rest of the world becomes irrelevant
Male 52 years from England
I first met Deidre at a cafe with some friends. I was was with my wife and we met regularly to share in conversation and enjoy our friends' company. Deidre just "stood out". She was quiet, unassuming and a little mysterious. She had gorgeous black hair and beautiful haunting green eyes. Her face had a classical beauty about it, but it was those eyes that drew me into her soul. Deep into her soul!
I had a brief conversation over the meal with her and became memorized by her looks and wistful nature which seemed full of longing and unfulfilled desire. I found her intriguing, so much so that I rang a mutual friend to get her phone number. .
I arranged to meet with her to discuss "business matters" as she worked in the same industry as myself. She was recently separated and living by herself. She knew I was a married man, but that made no difference to either of us.
When infatuation is mutual, and attraction between two people is strong, all the rules are too easily broken and the rest of the world becomes irrelevant.
Deidre loved talking with me and our conversation flowed so easily that we were soon touching and holding each other's hands in a soft and sensuous delightfulness.
Everything changed in that moment! I was catapulted into an obsessiveness which consumed my whole life and altered my every behaviour and perceptions. I was well and truly hooked, but unfortunately, not for the first time. This madness had invaded my life before and once again I was out of control, beyond help and a victim of an unceasing relentlessness to have my love addiction met.
The desire to be with my 'beloved' totally consumed me. Nothing, and I mean nothing else mattered!